1 00:00:57,920 --> 00:00:59,919 BIRDSONG 2 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,999 PING 3 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,159 Ah, Jeeves. How was the little chap this morning? 4 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,199 Distressingly wilful, sir. 5 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,239 Oh, well, look on the bright side, Jeeves. 6 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,559 Think of the untold good we have done ourselves by nannying the beast 7 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,559 until Aunt Agatha has finished her inspection of the Continent. 8 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,319 True, sir. 9 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,879 Um, pardon me for asking, sir, 10 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,279 but are you proposing to appear in public in those garments? 11 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,719 What? Well, certainly, Jeeves. 12 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,879 What? A bit diffy, d'you think? 13 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,279 Not necessarily, sir. 14 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,479 I'm told that Mr Freddy "He's A Riot" Flowerdew 15 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,399 often appears on the music-hall stage in comparable attire. 16 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,959 - But - - No! No buts, Jeeves. 17 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,599 I happen to think very highly of them. Now then. 18 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,439 Yes, we should be making tracks. 19 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,479 I tee off at eleven-thirty. 20 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,839 - Good luck, sir. - Oh, thank you, Jarvis. 21 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,999 Yes, Jeeves, I rather think 22 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,359 that today you will be proud to see the young master 23 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,439 sail through to the quarterfinals at the very least 24 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,359 in the Drones Club Annual Knockout Tournament. 25 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,599 Ah. This is indeed good news, sir. 26 00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,679 You see, Jeeves, my match is against Barmy Fotheringay Phipps. 27 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,679 Being drawn against him 28 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,719 is generally considered the golfing equivalent of a walkover. 29 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,759 I see, sir. 30 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,719 I hope Bobbie Wickham will be amazed 31 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,079 at my exploits on the golf course today too, Jeeves. 32 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,119 Indeed, sir. 33 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,319 May I inquire as to why you are desirous of impressing Miss Wickham? 34 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,079 Didn't I tell you, Jeeves? 35 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,919 I'm in love. 36 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,279 With Miss Wickham, sir? 37 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,359 There's no need to say it like that, Jeeves. 38 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,759 You're wrong about Miss Wickham, you know. 39 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,919 If you say so, sir. 40 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,479 Right, Jeeves. 41 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,159 This is the time for plain speaking. 42 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,039 Just what exactly is your kick against Miss Wickham? 43 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,039 - I insist. - Well, sir, 44 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,639 although Miss Wickham is a very charming young lady... 45 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,079 Exactly, Jeeves! You speak an imperial court. 46 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,719 - What eyes! - Yes. Sir. 47 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,799 - What hair! - Very true, sir. 48 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,919 - What...lockiness! - Precisely, sir. 49 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,079 What exactly do you mean, "precisely, sir"? 50 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,359 Well, sir, it is that very quality of espieglerie 51 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,719 which to my mind debars Miss Wickham from being a matrimonial prospect 52 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,959 for a gentleman of your description. 53 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,639 And what do you mean, "a gentleman of my description"? 54 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,879 Miss Wickham, in my opinion, sir, is too frivolous. 55 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:18,479 Whenever I see Miss Wickham, I know that trouble cannot be far behind. 56 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,799 In order to qualify as Miss Wickham's husband, 57 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,879 a gentleman should be possessed of a commanding personality 58 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,079 and considerable strength of character. 59 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,799 Exactly, Jeeves! 60 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,999 Condemned out of your own mouth! 61 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,319 - What ho, Bobbie! Barmy! - Hello! 62 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,039 Hello, Bertie! I didn't know you'd arrived. 63 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,999 Well, I hadn't. Until now, of course. 64 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,359 I didn't arrive somewhere once. Most extraordinary thing. 65 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,759 Are you in mourning for someone? 66 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,079 Yes, rather natty, eh? Jeeves doesn't like them, 67 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,359 but of course Jeeves is notoriously hidebound in the matter of legwear. 68 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,119 I was on my way there, and something happened! 69 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,919 I can't remember what exactly. 70 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,599 - You'll look after the hound, Bobbie? - Of course, Bertie. 71 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,199 - Looking forward to the match, Barmy? - I'll say. 72 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,279 I've got this wonderful new gadget from Lillywhite's. 73 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,279 You wind it up and clip it onto your club, 74 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,079 and it buzzes to tell you when to start your downswing. 75 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,519 Oh. 76 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,519 (MOUTHS) 77 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,599 BUZZING 78 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,839 - Good shot, Barmy! - Thank you, Bertie. 79 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,519 (CLEARS THROAT; SNIFFS) 80 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,999 - Have you been taking lessons, Barmy? - No, it's this whatsit. 81 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,039 Thank you, George. 82 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,799 - Works marvellously, don't you think? - It's very good. 83 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,639 (DOG BARKS) Macintosh - quiet. 84 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,799 Macintosh! Sorry, Bertie. 85 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,439 (FURIOUS YIPPING) CLANG 86 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,439 Sorry! Sorry. 87 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,719 (GROANS) Oh, Bertie! 88 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,759 Right! Now, what I've got to here, Jeeves, 89 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,679 is keep it low, drill it through the trees quail high... 90 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,399 Indeed, sir? 91 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,159 ..then dog-leg it round the wood and let it drift to the green 92 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,839 with enough backspin to bring it level with the pin. 93 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,359 Might even plop straight into the hole, Jeeves. 94 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,239 That would seem to be ideal, sir. 95 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,639 Well, it's finesse, you know. Aptly put, sir. 96 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,319 (BALL RICOCHETS WILDLY) 97 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,039 BUZZING 98 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,839 - Splendid shot, Barmy! - Good shot, Barmy. 99 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,119 (DOG BARKS) Oh, Bertie, I'm sorry. 100 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,319 Come here, Macintosh. 101 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,719 We may not be keeping our eye on the ball with sufficient assiduity, sir. 102 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,759 It's that blasted dog! Whenever I look at the ball it starts yapping. 103 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,119 Good dog. Good dog. 104 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,359 - Good shot, Bertie. - Thank you, Barmy. 105 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,279 Agh! 106 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,319 Oi! 107 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,679 Oh, Macintosh, it's not a bone. Come on. 108 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,279 - Come here. - Macintosh! 109 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,719 (SIGHS) 110 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,639 Good boy. 111 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,039 If you ask me, Jeeves, that animal 112 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,519 is in the pay of the Fotheringay Phippses. 113 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,959 There you are, Jeeves. The old touch coming back. 114 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,559 Shall I put you down for a 12 there, sir? 115 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:29,519 No - no! Nothing can make me disclose my secret! 116 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,599 You have to tell us, Mother. 117 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,999 Who is Oriana's father? 118 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:39,119 - Never! - Yes - yes! Who IS my father? 119 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,639 Do you think I can go on living with this hanging over me? 120 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:44,639 It's a living hell! 121 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,519 I tell you! 122 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,599 Don't 'ee say nothing, Mrs Warminster. 123 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,759 What the devil has it got to do with you, 124 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,399 Old Elias? What ho, Lady Wickham! 125 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,279 Hello, Sir Cuthbert. Hello, Tuppy. 126 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:58,999 How are you, young man? 127 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:03,039 I hear you made a dog's breakfast of your golf this morning. 128 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,599 - Oh, he was an absolute scream. - Thank you, Bobbie. 129 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,279 I shall do my best to be the game and popular loser. 130 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,079 Don't be a stick, Bertie. It was fun. 131 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,879 Golf isn't intended to be FUN, Roberta. 132 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,039 We're just reading my new play, Mr Wooster. Would you care to join us? 133 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,439 No thank you. I've got to take the hound for a walk. 134 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,679 - I'll come with you. - Bobbie! Who's going to read Oriana? 135 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,519 Won't be long. 136 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:28,519 - Would YOU read Oriana, Mr Glossop? - Oh... right. Yes. 137 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,879 What the devil has it got to do with you, Old Elias? 138 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,239 SQUEAKILY: He knows! He must know! How does he know? 139 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,119 To lose like that, to Barmy of all people... 140 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,759 They nearly died laughing in the refreshment tent. 141 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,119 It's no laughing matter, young Bobbie. 142 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,879 No. No, I know, Bertie. 143 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,719 But... I've got an idea. 144 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,959 I warn you that what I'm about to say, Jeeves, 145 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,159 is going to make you look pretty silly. 146 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,759 - Indeed, sir? - This morning, if I remember rightly, 147 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,079 you stated that Miss Wickham was frivolous, volatile 148 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,919 and generally lacking in seriousness. 149 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,639 - Am I correct? - Quite correct, sir. 150 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,279 Well, this afternoon I went for a walk with Miss Wickham, 151 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,039 and she suggested to me 152 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:13,039 the ripest, brainiest scheme for getting back at young Barmy 153 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,559 - that anyone could possibly imagine. - Getting back at him, sir? 154 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,879 One wonders if this is quite the sporting spirit. 155 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,239 - Eh? - One merely wonders, sir. 156 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,399 Oh, no, no, no. This is the Wooster spirit, Jeeves. 157 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,999 Unsporting would be me reporting that blasted buzzer to the committee. 158 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,879 - No, this is strictly man to man. - Very good, sir. 159 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,919 Anyway, it appears that at the school where Miss Wickham was educated, 160 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,639 it was from time to time necessary for the right-thinking element 161 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,239 to slip one over certain of the baser sort. 162 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,719 - D'you know what they did, Jeeves? - No, sir, I don't. 163 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,639 Well, they used to take a long stick - 164 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,519 and follow me closely here, Jeeves - 165 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,919 they used to attach a darning needle to it. 166 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,679 Then, at dead of night, 167 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,159 they would slip into the party of the second part's cubicle, 168 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,959 poke the needle through the blankets and puncture the water bottle! 169 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,879 Oh, girls are so much subtler in these matters than boys, Jeeves. 170 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,159 I'm sure you must be right, sir. 171 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,399 Mm. And this - this - is the girl that you call frivolous. 172 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,119 Yes, sir. I do believe - 173 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,239 Anyone who could think up a wheeze like that 174 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,959 is my idea of a helpmeet. 175 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,239 Now, have you any idea where young Barmy sleeps? 176 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,719 I believe he's currently installed in the moat room, sir. 177 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:30,799 ♪ PIANO STRIKES UP 178 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:41,839 ♪ Because you come to me 179 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,479 ♪ With looks of love 180 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:53,199 ♪ And hold my hand and lead my eyes above 181 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:58,399 ♪ A wider world of hope and joy I see 182 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,239 ♪ Because... 183 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:09,319 ♪ You come to me 184 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:23,359 ♪ Because you speak to me in accents sweet 185 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:29,799 ♪ I find the roses waking round my feet... ♪ 186 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,039 - Jeeves? - Yes, sir? 187 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,359 You couldn't get me a darning needle, could you? 188 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,239 And a bit of stick, and some string? 189 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:42,119 ♪ Because... 190 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:47,599 ♪ You... (HIGH NOTE) 191 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:53,879 (NOTE GOES ON) 192 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,959 ♪ Because 193 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,399 ♪ God made thee mine 194 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:06,439 ♪ I'll cherish thee 195 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,719 ♪ Through light and darkness 196 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,759 ♪ Because 197 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:33,319 ♪ God made thee mine! ♪ 198 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,599 Most moving! Most moving! 199 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:49,919 - See - she weeps! - You were wonderful! Wonderful! 200 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,039 It reminds us of old country. (SOBS) 201 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,519 My wife does not like to be reminded of old country. 202 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,239 Thank you so much, Miss Bellinger. 203 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,559 Sir Cuthbert and I are so starved of true culture, 204 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,639 buried down here in the country. 205 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,479 Oh, you're too kind, Mrs Wickham. 206 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,799 Damn fine! Tune you can hum! Tap your foot to! 207 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,599 - Or whistle! - It's absolutely - well, absolutely - 208 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,239 Miss Bellinger, when you were last at La Scala... 209 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,399 - What do you think, Bertie? - Well! 210 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,919 Absolutely! What a wonderful... noise she makes! 211 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,439 It's quite amazing. You know, I've only know her a couple of weeks. 212 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,079 - Mm? - I think I'm in love, Bertie. 213 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,599 Oh, steady the buffs. 214 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,199 Every time my wife thinks of Pormania, she weeps. Every time. 215 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,559 Hello, Professor Cluj. Wasn't she wonderful? 216 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,039 Was good times, in old country. 217 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:45,079 At the university I was professor of Slavonic languages. 218 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,559 But we leave all behind - our house in Slanislaus Avenue, 219 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,559 our paltika in the countryside, several children - 220 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,119 - Dashed awkward. - Oh, no no no. Is better here. 221 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,559 Pormania is dump. (SOBS) 222 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,159 Ah. 223 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,839 Oh! You were wonderful! 224 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,999 I mean, as far as I can see, the trick of playing the piano 225 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,439 is to get one hand to do one thing 226 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:17,399 while the other one's... doing something elsel... 227 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,759 Well, I mean, I can do that with a knife and fork! 228 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,879 - So I don't see why - - Mr Fotheringay Phipps - 229 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,679 - Ah- Good night, Lady Wickham. - Oh! Good night, Mr Wooster. 230 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,839 I do hope you'll be quite comfortable. 231 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,719 - I'm sure I will. Good night, Barmy. - Good night. Sleep well. 232 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,999 - Right - good night, all. - Good night, Bertie. 233 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,359 (SNORING) 234 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,719 CLATTER (BOTH YELL IN PORMANIAN) 235 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,119 (YAPS) 236 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,599 - YOU? - Right. Ah... 237 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:51,039 - Are you mad or what, man? - No, no. I ah, hm... 238 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,879 I thought you were Barmy. 239 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,719 You thought I am barmy? 240 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,199 The bed is wet! 241 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,999 Look! 242 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,879 Um, it was a joke, you see. 243 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,479 Where is your room, lunatic? 244 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,519 Mine? Um, well, it's just above yours. The top room. 245 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,399 Thank you. We will find it. 246 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,479 Put on your robe. 247 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,639 Turn your back, lunatic. 248 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,919 We will spend the finish of the night in your bed. 249 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,399 You may sleep here. Come, Aneta. 250 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,119 Well, no, but...um... 251 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,439 Jeeves, you have blundered grievously. 252 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,759 - Sir? - Barmy was NOT sleeping in this room. 253 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,279 This was Professor Cluj and his wife. 254 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,159 Yes, sir. Mr Fotheringay Phipps 255 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,079 was good enough to exchange rooms with them yesterday evening, 256 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,279 as Madama Cluj complained the room reminded her of their homeland. 257 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,079 Oh. 258 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,959 - And when did you discover this? - Late last night, sir. 259 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,639 Late last night? 260 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,519 And you cold-bloodedly stood by 261 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,839 and let me walk to my certain doom? 262 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,079 Yes, sir. I thought that on reflection 263 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,999 you might prefer that your relationship with the Wickham family 264 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,359 - remained a distant one. - A distant one? 265 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,679 I'm about to propose to the daughter of the house this very a.m.! 266 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,839 Very good, sir. 267 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,159 Shall I lay out our houndstooth check suit, sir, 268 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,199 - for the journey? What journey? - To London, sir. 269 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,279 Lady Wickham has already asked Mr Fotheringay Phipps to leave. 270 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,719 - Asked him to leave? - During the night, sir. 271 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,719 When Professor and Madama Cluj were occupying your bed, 272 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,479 he entered their room and pierced their hot-water bottle 273 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,439 - with a sharp implement. - What an extraordinary coincidence, 274 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,479 Barmy getting the same idea as I did. 275 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,119 The concatenation of circumstance you describe 276 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,639 was not entirely unforeseen, sir. It appears 277 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,879 he received the suggestion from the young lady. 278 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,359 - From Miss Wickham? - Yes, sir. 279 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,159 You mean, at the same time 280 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,559 she was putting me up to puncturing Barmy's hot-water bottle, 281 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,959 she was tipping Barmy off to puncturing mine? 282 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,239 She is a young lady with a keen sense of humour, sir. 283 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,999 (SHUDDERS) 284 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,719 You are cold, sir? 285 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,439 Just shivering, Jeeves. 286 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,839 The occurrence, if I may take the liberty of saying so, sir, 287 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,919 may perhaps lend colour to the view I put forward yesterday, 288 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,479 that Miss Wickham, though in many respects very charming... 289 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,479 Say no more, Jeeves. 290 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,439 - Love is dead. - Very good, sir. 291 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:38,839 ♪ Now there's a good ship HMS Top Robin 292 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,679 ♪ On a home trip Up and down she's bobbing 293 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,959 ♪ The crew's pretty tough The sea is so rough 294 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,159 ♪ They're all paid up and say that they've had more than enough 295 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,279 (YAPS) 296 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:56,079 ♪ He's an able seaman And they call him Red-Haired Tom 297 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,079 ♪ I wired to say I'll meet you 298 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,559 ♪ With your friends I'll treat you 299 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,039 ♪ So who do you think I've had a message from? ♪ 300 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,839 - Do you like that song, Jeeves? - Well, sir... 301 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,479 It's called 47 Ginger-Headed Sailors. 302 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,319 It's all the rage at the Drones. 303 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,439 I can't say that I'm surprised to hear that, sir. 304 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:19,639 ♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors 305 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,559 ♪ Coming home across the briny sea (DOG YAPS) 306 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,599 ♪ When the anchor's weighed And the journey's made 307 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,839 ♪ Yes, they'll start the party 308 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,159 DOORBELL ♪ With a heave-ho, me hearties 309 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,599 ♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors You bet you're going to hear them... 310 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:37,399 (DOG WHINES) ♪ An old maid down in Devon 311 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,239 ♪ Said "My idea of heaven 312 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,279 ♪ Is 47 ginger-headed sailors!" ♪ 313 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,839 Ah. It really speaks to me, that song, Jeeves. 314 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,759 - I'm sorry to hear that, sir. - Would you like to hear the rest? 315 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,079 I shouldn't like to put you to any trouble, sir. 316 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,599 This note was delivered by hand, a few moments ago. 317 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,879 Oh. Well, at least Macintosh likes my singing. 318 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,199 I'll really miss the little fellow when Aunt Agatha gets back today. 319 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,839 Well, of all the bally nerve, Jeeves! 320 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,439 - Sir? - After everything she 321 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,039 did to us last weekend, 322 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,279 she wants us to give her lunch today! 323 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,039 - Sir? - Miss Wickham, Jeeves! 324 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,119 And two of her friends! 325 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:18,959 She even specifies the meal. 326 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,319 - Ugh. - Indeed, sir? 327 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,479 "Roly-poly pudding 328 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,439 with lots of jam, oysters, ice cream, 329 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,479 and plenty of chocolate". 330 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,679 Must be on some kind of diet. 331 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,999 No, I shall go and remonstrate with her, Jeeves. 332 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,759 Very good, sir. I shall go and purchase the comestibles. 333 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,599 By no means, Jeeves. 334 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,079 By no means! I can be chilled steel, you know. 335 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,319 Bobbie, after everything you've done to me, 336 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,519 I just don't see how you have the - the almighty gall - 337 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,279 Don't be such a stick, Bertie. 338 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,719 - All right about lunch, is it? - No, it is NOT all right. 339 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,479 Oh, Bertie! I can't give Mr Blumenfield lunch here. 340 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,439 The house is being decorated. 341 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:02,039 - Well, restaurants are open. - I never took you for small-minded. 342 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,999 - Careful of those mouldings. - Small-minded? 343 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,639 Mr Blumenfield's a fearfully important Broadway producer. 344 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,879 I've got to read Mummy's play to him after lunch. 345 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,119 I can't read to him in a restaurant. 346 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,239 Well, but why does he want jam roly-poly and oysters? 347 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,119 He doesn't. That's for his son. 348 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,279 Apparently Mr Blumenfield always banks on his verdict. 349 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,399 He says an eight-year-old's intelligence 350 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,519 is exactly equal to a Broadway audience. 351 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,759 Mm. Well, I'm not going to sit around all afternoon 352 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,799 while you read your mother's dratted play. 353 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,159 Well, you can lunch at the club, then. 354 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,519 - No no no! - Oh, Bertie, you're such a dear. 355 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,679 BROKENLY: Help me, Brandon! He's armed! 356 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,359 Don't 'ee come nigh me, young sir. 357 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:49,039 STOUTLY: You cur! FEEBLY: Oh! 358 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,039 STOUTLY: If you don't take your hands off that young woman... 359 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,359 What, then? 360 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,639 What'll 'ee do, will Old Elias? 361 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,999 Happen 'ee'll take thy riding crop to 'un, 362 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,839 like the old meyster thy feyther... he used to do? 363 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,159 Daddy! This dog's so cute, isn't he? 364 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,239 Don't you like the play, son? 365 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,839 Sure, I like it fine. But the dog's cuter. 366 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,279 Yeah, sure. Sure he is. 367 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:24,119 SHOUTING AND CHEERING 368 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,599 Guess what? I'm going to the opera tonight. 369 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,519 The opera, Tuppy? 370 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,439 The chorus thing in The Barber of Figaro. 371 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,839 Is that the one about the pyramids? Sounds like it, by the name. 372 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,359 I've never been to the opera before. 373 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,439 Would you like to come with me, Bertie? 374 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,919 - Uh, well - - Excuse me, sir. 375 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,839 There's a Miss Wickham for you on the phone. 376 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,759 Oh. Right-ho. 377 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:59,039 Yes? Bobbie! 378 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,759 Yes? Good. 379 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,639 YOU'VE DONE WHAT? 380 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,439 What - why? She'll KILL me! 381 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,639 - Jeeves! - I couldn't stop her, sir. 382 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,039 Tchah - you mean you stood by 383 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,999 and let Bobbie Wickham make a present of my aunt Agatha's dog 384 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,639 to some perfect stranger, Jeeves? 385 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,999 You know how headstrong the young lady can be, sir. 386 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,239 Well - is she mad? 387 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,199 The child took a fancy to the animal, sir. 388 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,719 In order to ingratiate herself to the boy's father, 389 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,879 she presented it to him. Oh, well, oh - 390 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,279 I'm lost, Jeeves. Sunk. Aunt Agatha is due here at six o'clock. 391 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,279 If I might propose a course of action, sir? 392 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,279 Oh, anything, Jeeves! Anything! 393 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,759 Mr Blumenfield and the young gentleman 394 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,799 are attending a motion-picture performance this afternoon, sir. 395 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,359 They will not return to their hotel until five o'clock. 396 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,439 At which time Miss Wickham will call on them 397 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,559 to sign the contract for Lady Wickham's play. 398 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,399 Should they be delayed, 399 00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,999 she is to go straight up to their suite and attend them. 400 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,959 Well, I don't see how that helps, Jeeves. 401 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,679 If you will bear with me, sir, 402 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,159 our first requirement is for aniseed. 403 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:09,279 - Aniseed? - To sprinkle on the trousers, sir. 404 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,919 Aniseed is commonly and extensively used in the dognapping industry. 405 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,719 - I didn't know that. - Yes indeed, sir. 406 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,399 Oi! Come out of there! Oi! 407 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,559 Now, sir. You know how much the dog Macintosh enjoys your singing. 408 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,439 (SNIFFS) 409 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,799 It's all right. It's the trousers. 410 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,519 YAPPING 411 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,359 (SOFTLY) ♪ ..ginger-headed sailors 412 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,919 ♪ You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us 413 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,199 (DOG YAPS) 414 00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,959 ♪ (SINGS) (DOG YAPS) 415 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,399 Afternoon. 416 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,479 Like a breeze! 417 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,439 Like a breeze. Now, put the pooch 418 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,479 somewhere my trousers will cease to cast their spell. 419 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,799 Tell me, Jeeves, were you always like this, 420 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,639 or did it come on suddenly? 421 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,799 - Sir? - The brain. The grey matter. 422 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,959 Were you an outstandingly brilliant child? 423 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,199 My mother thought me intelligent, sir. 424 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,119 Well, you can't go by that. My mother thought ME intelligent. 425 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,679 DOORBELL 426 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,759 Who - who is that? 427 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:19,959 - Probably Mr Blumenfield Senior, sir. - What? 428 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,639 He telephoned a short while ago, 429 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,519 to say he was about to pay you a call, sir. 430 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,159 (SQUEAKS) 431 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,039 Well, Jeeves, get - get rid of him! 432 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,439 Jeeves! 433 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,759 - I'll see what I can do, sir. - Right-ho. 434 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,439 - This guy Wooster - where is he? - I could not say, sir. 435 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,759 He sneaked my son's dog! 436 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,079 - Most disturbing, sir. - You don't know where he is? 437 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,039 My boy has his heart set on that little dog. 438 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,679 If he doesn't get it back, he'll turn right against that play. 439 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:59,239 - What's that smell in here? - Um, aniseed, I suspect, sir. 440 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,079 Mr Wooster likes to sprinkle it on his trousers. 441 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,319 - What the hell does he do that for? - I could not say, sir. 442 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,599 Mr Wooster is an eccentric. 443 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,719 - He lives alone? - Yes, sir. 444 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,279 - Not, ah, a danger? - Yes, sir. 445 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,999 (SNIFFS) With regard to the aniseed, sir, 446 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,479 I fancy I have now located it. Unless I am very much mistaken, 447 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,479 it's proceeding from behind the sofa. 448 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,719 No doubt Mr Wooster is sleeping there. 449 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,999 - Doing what? - Sleeping, sir. 450 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,559 (PEACEFUL SNORING) 451 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,759 (SNORES) Oh my God. 452 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,479 Would you like me to wake him up, sir? 453 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,439 Tch...no! 454 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:40,599 No. Just get me outta here alive, that's all I ask. 455 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,479 Very good, sir. I think I can do better than that. 456 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:50,119 Hey! Here's a 5 note! 457 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:54,479 - Thank you very much indeed, sir. - Ha ha! 458 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,639 This way, sir. 459 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,639 - Thank you! - Good afternoon, sir. 460 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,759 - JEEVES! - Sir? 461 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,319 Utch...you...(GIBBERS) 462 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,559 - I can't believe it! - No, sir. 463 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,919 Mr Wooster, sir... 464 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,039 The Astor Hotel. You know where that is, buddy? 465 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,719 - Quick - he's a madman. - Stop! 466 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,079 Aunt Agatha! 467 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,999 Ah! No, Aunt Agatha! You can't go up to the flat! 468 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,759 Why? I trust Macintosh is well. 469 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,319 No! Yes! Macintosh is very well. 470 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,039 - Well, are you coming in the lift? - No. 471 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,919 Ah, but - no, but you can't go up there! 472 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,679 No! No! 473 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:58,439 No, you - no! 474 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,439 No! Look - please! 475 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,519 (GASPS) 476 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,279 Your mouth is hanging open again, Bertie. 477 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,439 - I - - Ah, there he is. 478 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:21,399 Come to Mother, Macintosh. 479 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:25,119 How's my baby, then? 480 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,279 Mouth closed, Bertie. 481 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:38,239 - Jeeves! - I'm sure Master Blumenfield 482 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,639 will not detect the fact that I purchased another dog, sir. 483 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,199 Another dog? 484 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,519 Except to the eye of love, sir, 485 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,839 one Aberdeen terrier is much like another. 486 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,959 ♪ I no longer know what I am, what I do 487 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,279 ♪ Now of fire, now of ice 488 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:06,719 ♪ Every woman changes color 489 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,719 ♪ Every woman makes me throb 490 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:15,279 ♪ Every woman makes me throb 491 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,039 ♪ Only to the names of love... ♪ 492 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,399 - Isn't she wonderful? - Stunning. Stunning. 493 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,119 Reminds me of a chap I used to play rugby with. 494 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,199 Um... ♪ E a parlare mi sforza d'amore... 495 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,239 - Oh - Buffy Trumpton. - That's it, that's it. 496 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:34,879 ♪ Un desio ch'io non posso spiegar 497 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,799 ♪ Un desio... 498 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,439 Well, not really. Just... something about the trousers. 499 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:47,319 ♪ E se non ho chi mi oda 500 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:51,439 ♪ Parla d'amor con me 501 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:57,879 ♪ Con me... 502 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,799 ♪ Parla d'amor con me ♪ 503 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,679 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 504 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,719 Bravo! 505 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,679 Well! I told you I had a special reason. 506 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,519 Isn't she wonderful at the loud bits? 507 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,439 Yes. MURMURS OF AGREEMENT 508 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,159 Thing is, Bertie, what with her great soul and everything, 509 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,319 she has this rather serious outlook on life. 510 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,359 I want you to back me up. Let her know 511 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,239 I've got a serious mind and so forth. 512 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,479 I didn't know you had any sort of a mind. 513 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:31,599 That is just the sort of remark we DON'T want, thank you very much. 514 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:36,679 Well! I suppose we'd better get backstage and, ah, meet her. 515 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,359 Oh, I think there's some more opera first. 516 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,279 Oh, yes. That was only Act I. 517 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,439 - Well, how many are there? - Four. 518 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,639 Good God! Well - 519 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:53,319 well...that's wonderful. Super. 520 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,359 What a treat. 521 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:04,159 ♪ ORCHESTRA FINALE 522 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,799 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 523 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,159 Come on, Bertie. 524 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,159 Oh - well done. Splendid. 525 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,799 Ah. 526 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,959 - Who is it? - It's Hildebrand, darling. 527 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,999 One moment, Hildebrand. 528 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,999 - Hildebrand? - Just shut up. 529 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,839 - Gentlemen. - Ah! Hello, Cora! 530 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,959 You remember Bertie Wooster? 531 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,399 - What ho, Cora. - Good evening, Mr Wooster. 532 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,679 Sorry! Sorry. 533 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,879 - Topping show. - Why, thank you. 534 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,199 I did not know you were a devotee of the opera, Mr Wooster. 535 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,479 Well, um, 536 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,879 I saw Naughty Naughty at the Hippodrome last year. 537 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,039 Did you really. 538 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,199 Hildebrand, I should be grateful 539 00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:10,039 if you would NOT smoke your cigar in my dressing room. 540 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,079 - Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) - Thank you. 541 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:28,359 (CLEARS THROAT) He's so serious-minded, old Tuppy! 542 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,959 - I beg your pardon? - Tuppy - serious-minded. Lord, yes. 543 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,839 - Indeed? - Yes! Famous for it! I say to him, 544 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,679 when we're at the races or shifting a few at the trough - 545 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:40,399 "Tuppy, old fellow, you are serious-minded, aren't you?" 546 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,199 - Absolutely. - Mm! 547 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:44,519 Well, that went pretty well, I thought. 548 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,159 Mm! But how are you going to keep it up, Tuppy? 549 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,479 I have my long-term strategy, Bertie. 550 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,519 - Remember Beefy Bingham? - Yes, I ran into him the other day. 551 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,399 - He's a parson now. - Yes, quite. 552 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,599 Down in the East End. Well, the thing is, 553 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,999 Cora's frightfully keen on good works, 554 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,999 so I've been helping Beefy out at the lads' club he runs 555 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,399 for the local toughs. You know the sort of thing - 556 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:07,879 cocoa and cribbage in the reading room and whatnot. 557 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,039 Yes, I wondered where you'd been getting to. 558 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,439 What's more, Cora's promised to sing at Beefy's next entertainment. 559 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,959 And - mark my devilish ingenuity, Bertie - 560 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,999 I'm going to sing too. 561 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,199 How is that going to get you anywhere? 562 00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:22,039 Because I intend to sing a song 563 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,559 to prove to her once and for all there are great deeps in my nature. 564 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,159 Well, I'm not singing one of your mouldy old comic songs. 565 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,359 I'm going to sing about angels being lonely, 566 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,119 and all that kind of stuff. 567 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:38,319 Angels being lonely? You're not going to sing... Sonny Boy? 568 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,079 I jolly well am! 569 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,119 ♪ The angels grew lonely 570 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,239 ♪ And took you because they were lonely 571 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,799 ♪ Now I'm lonely too, sonny boy... ♪ 572 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,959 I can't be responsible for Tuppy's affairs of the heart. 573 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,039 - You may be my favourite nephew... - But Aunt Dahlia! 574 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,479 ..but he is your friend, Bertie. 575 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,319 Up to about three weeks ago, 576 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,639 that blasted Glossop was all over my daughter, 577 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,439 haunting the house, lapping up daily lunches, 578 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,399 dancing half the night and so on. 579 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,999 Naturally the poor kid imagined it was only a question of time 580 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,759 before he suggested they feed for life out of the same bucket. 581 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,919 Now he's gone and dropped Angela like a hot brick, 582 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:30,719 and I hear he's infatuated with some singer. 583 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,599 Mm. Cora Bellinger. 584 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,639 - How do you know? - I've met her. 585 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,079 - What's she like? - Bit on the lines of the Albert Hall. 586 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:42,239 I want this Bellinger business broken up, Bertie. 587 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,119 A little thing like this should be child's play to Jeeves. 588 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,239 Mm. ..from what I hear. 589 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,519 From what Mr Wooster has told me of the lady, I believe 590 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,439 that should she witness Mr Glossop appearing to disadvantage in public, 591 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,159 she would cease to entertain affection for him - 592 00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,959 in the event, for example, 593 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,439 of his failing to please an audience on Tuesday with his singing. 594 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:08,479 By Jove! You mean - if he gets the bird, all will be off? 595 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,399 I should be greatly surprised if this were not the case, sir. 596 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,279 Ah, but we cannot leave this to chance, Jeeves. 597 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,679 We need not leave it entirely to luck, sir. 598 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:19,639 If Mr Glossop were to sing Sonny Boy 599 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,439 directly after you too, sir, had sung Sonny Boy, 600 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,919 I fancy the audience would have lost their taste for that particular song 601 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,279 and would respond... warmly, I'm sure. 602 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:34,279 - Jeeves, you are a marvel. - Thank you, madam. 603 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,239 Jeeves, you are an ass. 604 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,799 Me, sing Sonny Boy? At Beefy Bingham's entertainment? 605 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,119 Mr Wooster has a pleasant, light baritone, Mrs Travers. 606 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,759 He often uses it about the flat. 607 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:50,319 Bertie - you'll sing it. 608 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,799 And like it. 609 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:03,879 ♪ England, England, England... 610 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:08,559 CATCALLS 611 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:17,119 ♪ SINGS WITH DRAMA 612 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:22,639 ♪ England! 613 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,399 ♪ England! ♪ HECKLING 614 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:30,679 Not a large gathering, sir, but enthusiastically partisan. 615 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:32,519 Ah. You here, Jeeves. 616 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,839 Indeed, sir. I've been present since the commencement. 617 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:37,999 - Any casualties yet? - No, sir. 618 00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,279 - So I'll be the first, will I? - By no means, sir. 619 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,999 I anticipate that you will be well received. 620 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,399 Mm? You don't suppose for one moment 621 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,919 when Tuppy Glossop hears me sing that dashed song, 622 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,119 he'll just stroll on a moment later and sing it too? 623 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,319 Mr Glossop will not hear you sing, sir. 624 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,359 - Eh? - Mm. At my advice, 625 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,199 he has stepped across the road to the Dog and Duck, 626 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:05,719 and intends to remain there until he's due to appear on the platform. 627 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,039 Oh! 628 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,399 ♪ The world...repeats... 629 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,199 (AUDIENCE MURMURS IMPATIENTLY) 630 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,559 Thank you, Mr Simpson. Thank you. 631 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,239 And now, an old friend of mine is here to entertain us - 632 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,679 Mr Bertie Wooster. 633 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:56,159 ♪ Climb up on my knee, sonny boy 634 00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:00,639 ♪ You are only three, sonny boy 635 00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,759 ♪ You've no way of knowing 636 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,119 ♪ I've no way of showing 637 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,119 ♪ What you mean to me, sonny boy 638 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:14,879 ♪ Where there are grey skies 639 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,919 ♪ I don't mind those grey skies 640 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:21,759 ♪ Soon they'll be blue 641 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,759 ♪ Sonny boy 642 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,399 CATCALLS AND LAUGHTER 643 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,439 ♪ When they forsake me 644 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:33,959 ♪ Let them all forsake me 645 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:40,639 (SINGS ON DESPERATELY) ♪ ..Sonny boy 646 00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:46,679 ♪ You're sent from heaven and I know your worth 647 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:49,639 ♪ You made a heaven... ♪ 648 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:55,319 ♪ You are only three, sonny boy, la la la... ♪ 649 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,839 It's time, Mr Glossop. 650 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,879 Thank you, Jeeves. 651 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:14,079 ♪ The angels grew lonely 652 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:18,599 ♪ Took you because they were lonely 653 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:25,199 ♪ Now I'm lonely too, sonny boy ♪ 654 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:28,159 DERISIVE CHEERS 655 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,999 And now, a real treat - someone who's become very familiar to us 656 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,279 at the cribbage board over the past few weeks, 657 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,079 but tonight he's going to sing for us - 658 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,959 Mr Hildebrand Glossop. 659 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,079 RAGGED APPLAUSE 660 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:58,039 Mr Glossop has also helped us with the ping-pong... 661 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,679 Most professionally performed, if I may say so, sir. 662 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:05,439 You may, Jeeves. You may. 663 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,999 Mind you, the bird was definitely hovering in the air. 664 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,879 I could feel the beating of its wings. 665 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,479 I fancy the audience may have lost its taste for this melody, sir. 666 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:15,399 Eh? 667 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,519 I should perhaps have mentioned earlier, 668 00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,279 but the song was performed twice before you arrived. 669 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,239 You mean to tell me, Jeeves, that you deliberately - 670 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:28,439 I think Mr Glossop is about to begin, sir. 671 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:39,399 ♪ Climb up on my knee, sonny boy AUDIENCE: Oh no! 672 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,999 ♪ You are only three, sonny boy 673 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:47,879 ♪ There's no way of knowing, you've no way of showing 674 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:52,519 ♪ What you mean to me, sonny boy 675 00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:56,839 ♪ When there are grey skies Gerroff! 676 00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,559 ♪ YOU MAKE THEM BLUE, SONNY BOY... ♪ 677 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:10,479 No! Enough! Gerroff! (DOG BARKS) 678 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:14,199 (SHOUTS ANGRILY) 679 00:44:14,240 --> 00:44:19,839 This is unfair! This is completely unfair! 680 00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:24,239 - The surgeon's knife, eh, Jeeves? - Precisely, sir. 681 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:28,959 Yes, we may definitely consider the Glossop-Bellinger romance off. 682 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,599 All right! 683 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:36,479 The next item on the programme was to have been sung 684 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,999 by Miss Cora Bellinger, the well-known operatic soprano. 685 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:44,199 I've just received a telephone message from Miss Bellinger, 686 00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,639 that her car has broken down. 687 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:52,119 She is, however, on her way in a cab, and will arrive shortly. 688 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,239 Meantime, our old friend Mr Enoch... 689 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,999 Jeeves! She wasn't even here! 690 00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,759 So it would seem, sir. 691 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,839 (SIGHS) So she never saw Tuppy's Waterloo. 692 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,839 This whole agony has been for nothing. 693 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:07,679 - Most unfortunate, sir. - Well, I'm going home, Jeeves. 694 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:13,759 Never, never, NEVER involve me in any of your schemes again. 695 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,199 Very good, sir. With your permission, sir, 696 00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:19,079 I would like to witness the remainder of the entertainment. 697 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,559 Well, rather you than me, Jeeves. 698 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,439 Professionally, my heart has turned to stone. 699 00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,639 May I? 700 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:32,279 (DECLAIMS) JEERING 701 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,919 (PLAYS PIANO BRAVELY) 702 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,159 - Mr Jeeves! - Good evening, Madam. 703 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,519 I'm so glad you could make it! 704 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,239 Yes - thank you, Mr Simpson! Thank you! 705 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:29,319 And, um, now, and well worth waiting for, 706 00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:32,879 I'm sure you'll all agree, Miss Cora Bellinger. 707 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,719 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 708 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:00,479 ♪ PLAYS INTRO 709 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,039 ♪ Climb up on my knee, sonny boy ♪ 710 00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:09,639 AUDIENCE REVOLTS 711 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,959 UPROAR 712 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,119 You know, Jeeves, I had one of the rummiest phone calls 713 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,279 in a lifetime of rummy phone calls last night. 714 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,359 Indeed, sir? 715 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:44,719 From my Aunt Dahlia. She told me Tuppy was there with Angela, 716 00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,959 and all was over between him and Miss Bellinger. 717 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,039 I confess I had anticipated some such eventuality, sir. 718 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,199 Eh? 719 00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:58,599 When I observed Miss Bellinger strike Mr Glossop in the eye. 720 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:00,839 What on earth did she do that for? 721 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:02,879 I fancy she was upset, sir, 722 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,839 at the vigour of the audience's disapproval of her choice of song. 723 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,719 Now Jeeves, 724 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:13,279 you're not going to tell me that Miss Bellinger sang Sonny Boy too? 725 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,279 Yes, sir. 726 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,439 Well, what an extraordinary coincidence. 727 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,359 Not entirely, sir. 728 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,639 I took the liberty of accosting Miss Bellinger 729 00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,479 on her arrival at the hall, 730 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,319 and saying Mr Glossop had requested that she sing Sonny Boy 731 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,319 as a particular favour to him, sir. 732 00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:35,119 - I say, Jeeves. - Precisely, sir. She supposed 733 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:38,879 she had been the victim of a practical pleasantry by Mr Glossop. 734 00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:41,039 She took it hard, sir. 735 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,359 Good heavens, Jeeves. 736 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,639 - Shall I run your bath, sir? - Thank you, Jeeves. Yes. 737 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,719 Oh, Jeeves? 738 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,479 Yes, sir? 739 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:53,559 Those plus-sixes, Jeeves - 740 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,639 get rid of them, will you? 741 00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,399 Thank you, sir. 742 00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,719 It will be a wrench at first, but you'll feel better for it.